It has been an amazing journey for me the last few months. I have been completely cut off from life the way that I knew it to be and I was forced to find out how to be happy despite my the changes. I can see myself changing from day to day. Learning new skills and habits having new goles and a renewed sense of my Identity. I have ambitions today that wern't mine only a few months ago.
I miss my family. I miss the closeness I have known. I miss having my family to bounce ideas off and hang out with. I miss not being a part of their life. Some times I feel like I ran away. One day you are a part of the commotion and the next you are isolated from it. I still imagine my self at home with Mom and Dad Timmy and mark. I wonder how my life would be if I was in nursing school or working with the mentally disabled. Then I pause and thank god He is looking out for me. I miss mars hill and the whole gang downtown. And then there is Julie, I miss Julie soo much. I miss lazy days of sitting around the house in our PJ'S to going out on the town for my B-days. I miss Cooking and Hosting and Playing Games. I have lost but not forgotten those joys. I have so mush too be thankful for the times I have shared with my family. I Know that I am loved. I hope they know how much I love them.
II miss days of sleeping in with my dog in my arms......I can still remember the day I brought her home and I realized she was really my dog. I think about her often. It gives me so much joy to know that mom and dad are giving the love that she deserves. I wake up every morning and feel prepared for whatever that day may bring. I have never had to make so many decisions for myself.Its terrifying and exhilarating. I never know how I really feel except that I feel confused. I have always enjoyed, or at times relied on, being able to ask someone with more experience what might be the best choice between the options. I feel like my options here are all too many and too wonderful. I cant handle all of these decisions. They are too important to leave up to chance but each is to thrilling to pass off. I should be asking some one to tell me what to do.... Some one who understands me and really knows whats best for me. some one who knows my likes and dislikes, and wants me to succeed. So I pray and I say Father thy will be dine. With my life and my career and my location and as specially with my heart. I am never beyond his reach no matter how far I travel or stray. He knows me. Better than anyone knows me and he loves me more than anyone loves me. Even more than Mia
